Crop Dustin' Woman
mp3 available by email request

This one had its debut at Halloween in shaky acoustic form. The idea originally came as a fully-formed set of lyrics which just popped into my head shortly after we decided to move to Nashville. Marg had just had a bizarre dream in which I had an ex-wife who flew a biplane, which she kept in the garage of the house Marg and I lived in. Why? I dunno. I'll try and find a copy of the dream to put up here.

I assumed, when I first did the words, that this would be my first (possibly last and only) country song. Happily, I was wrong.

Crop Dustin' Woman
(c) 2003 Mark Frey

when I was a little boy
bouncing on my grandad's knee
there was a lifetime of wisdom the old man tried to impart to me
like how it sucks to be a bully and how everybody wins when you help the poor
I tried to learn his lessons; I wish I'd learned just one more

I wish I'd heard him when he said

Never marry a crop- dustin' woman
son, you listen to me
face like an angel with a poison stinger
on a permanent killing spree

I met her down at Sam's one Saturday
smellin' of whiskey and gasoline
she took me up to her mile-high heaven
my little Piper J-3 queen

Never marry a crop dustin' woman
death's her stock in trade
got them evil sprays and weird-name chemicals
boy you best be afraid

We flew right down to Vegas
got hitched at the Elvis Shack
knew I was in trouble that night on the town
caught her puttin' DDT in my soda-n-Jack

Never marry a crop- dustin' woman
she'll only bring you pain
gentle sound of her voice turn sour
rust out your love like acid rain

Now I'm thinkin' bout sabotage
anything to cut me loose
from this crazy, jealous, biplane momma
always hopped up on weevil juice

Never marry a crop dustin' woman...